I save coupons from packets of tea

redrae @ 2003-07-19T03:36:00

2003-07-19T07:50:53Z

the last time i'm doing this...............seriously.

raefromjersey

redrae @ 2003-07-05T15:09:00

2003-07-05T19:10:15Z

if you have added raefromjersey, feel free to remove this journal because all i'm going to be posting on this is telling people to add raefromjersey because 42 of you haven't. jerks.

redrae @ 2003-06-30T02:53:00

2003-06-30T06:52:43Z

................................raefromjersey

redrae @ 2003-06-29T01:23:00

2003-06-29T05:23:04Z

guys................check your friends lists.
this one is gone. I added everyone with the new one. please please please add me back. I know not everyone will and it makes me really sad.
if I didn't add you, you must have gotten lost in the masses, because I didn't intentionally leave anyone out. so leave a comment.
add me :(
I'm going to post this once a week until everyone adds me. so do it.

redrae @ 2003-06-28T03:19:00

2003-06-28T07:19:06Z

Girls.
Do you automatically hate your boyfriend's ex girlfriends, for no reason other than because they are ex's?
Don't act like you're a good person and try to tell me you don't. I know you do.
Admit it. Deep down, you hate them.
It doesn't matter what reasons you have.
"oh, she treated him bad."
"oh, she used to cheat on him."
"oh, she had a really bad dye job."
for real.........
what is up with that?

like, I completely hate Bill's ex girlfriend. I've never talked to her, never will, and basically know nothing about her. But I still hate her. The best reasons I've been able to come up with are:

he had sex with her and thus he wasn't a virgin when i got him. everyone wants a virgin. (see below)
I started talking to him right when they were breaking up, and she asked him who I was and why he was talking to me, and it annoyed me.
she's really huge and scary.
her name is Val, and from now on, whenever I hear the name Val I will think of her, instead of my godfather Val or the OoT moderator Val.
he met her online and i think we all know how i feel about online relationships. by "all" I mean "erin" and "jackie, who doesn't read this".
she's from chicago and now everytime i hear something about chicago I will think of her instead of my friend Josh or Billy Corgan

So I have a total of six reasons for hating someone I've never met, but none of them make any sense.
It's got to be a girl thing.

Note, however, that I'd probably like her if I ever talked to her. It's just one of those things.

I love Josh. Josh is a boy I've known for seven years (I am way too young to be thinking in terms of things that happened seven years ago) and who used to be really cool but now he's a hippie. Like, he actually follows around the greatful dead (i didn't even know they still existed). fucking hippies.
I was trying to explain the concept of everyone wanting a virgin (me and lauren have this theory. actually, the theory is "everyone wants a virgin") and josh had this to say.....
CookieSunSet: rae rae...it's not like they're tighter or anything
and
CookieSunSet: no way
CookieSunSet: fat people's pussys are still pussies
and
CookieSunSet: a man can get an erection with malaria

those last two only make sense to me and none of them will appear funny to anyone but me, but trust me, they're funny.

redrae @ 2003-06-27T03:25:00

2003-06-27T07:24:11Z

IF ANYONE STILL HAS ANY POGS

please mail them to:
rae
14 west taunton road
tansboro nj
08009

my birthday is in 54 days or something.
and i want to start a collection.

real post later.

in my memories forever, you'll be there until I die

2003-06-26T06:44:42Z

I can't stand girls who act stupider than they really are. Really. You act stupid and I play the game and treat you like you're stupid and it's perfectly fine if you want people to think you are some dumb blonde bimbo, but seriously, it's insulting to my intelligence too.

So I talked to the girl I couldn't decide whether or not I should send a letter to tonight - it was nice. I mean, it's not like we're suddenly going to become best friends or anything, but it's nice to sort things out like that, you know? It feels good.

In other news, I had two of the weirdest dreams ever - the first one involved Bill's ex girlfriend Val. I've never talked to her. Or met her. Because she lives in Chicago.
But my friend Josh, who is also from Chicago, was in the dream, so I guess my brain decided to dream about Josh and then said "hey, let's throw in random peole who we know are from Chicago to make the dream more fun", because Josh's little brother Ben was in it, and I've talked to him like 10 or 15 times in the 7 years I've known Josh. Oh, and Val was Ben's girlfriend or something. Even though I think Ben is like 16.
Yeah, nobody cares. But it was odd.

I also had this other dream involving me in a lake but I could like.....pull the water like it was curtains and I woke up all scared because I am terrified of lakes and stuff and I was about to get sucked into it.

yeah, I really need to start listening to crappy music when I am sad because when you listen to good music it ruins it for you in the future. Like, I can't listen to the buzzcocks because I used to listen to them all the time when I was sad. But I listened to a bunch of sad pining love songs and smiled because I totally couldn't relate and forgot how I ever could. That felt good too.

I wanted to say a lot more but I forget what it all was. I guess it wasn't that important.
So instead, here is tomorrow's random thing I drew in paintshop pro day drawing, one day early: a platypus that looked much better before i resized it.

I have a bunch of comments to reply to so I shall go get started on that.
Sorry this post is lame as always.

(heart i forget the code for) / rae

redrae @ 2003-06-25T04:05:00

2003-06-25T08:03:46Z

Um..........guys. I kind of hate my new tattoo. I should have considered it for more than 16 hours before getting it done. But I don't care all that much......................I don't take these things as seriously as I probably should. It's just annoying.
I have a feeling I only hate it because it's new and I hate all things that are new. I'll get over it.
But to make it even worse, I couldnt sleep so I decided to take my 5th shower of the day and I forgot it was there and I wiped it with the washrag and all the little scabby pieces came off and it looks slightly messed up. noww horrible, but, there's a couple tiny little pinpricks of ink missing. which isnt that noticable because the lines are so thin.
And combined with the crappy picture, you probably all think it looks completely horrible now, but it's really not bad at all.
i promise.
but I still don't like it.

yeah......that's it.

edit: if any of you guys are on friendster, you should add me. or something. redrae@addr.com

editx2: I forgot that when I first got the rattoo, I didn't like her much either. (link, link) now I love her as much as my catfish. and let's not forget the disastor with the one on my wrist. (link). I still don't like it but I don't *hate* it. I've never gotten that one fixed, but I plan on it eventually. and the guy who did it still works there. I hate him.

rae's nostalgia fest

2003-06-24T19:59:53Z

things people have reminded me of recently:

once upon I time, I had AOL and a profile that actually had factual information in it. one day this kid IMed me because he lived in the same town as I. he asked me where in particular I lived, I gave him a vague description, and he gave me a detailed description of where he lived. but......his description was basically describing exactly where I lived. "hm," I thought, "that's odd." so I told him to wait a few seconds and then flash the lights of his basement on and off repeatedly. I ran to the livingroom and looked out the window, at the house next door...........and the basement lights were flashing on and off.
once upon a time, bill and jay attacked me/my room/my house with silly string. Three years later, I still find pieces of silly string laying around, even though I don't even live in the same house anymore. bill claims I ruined his everclear shirt by attacking him with silly string at his house, but I am convinced he is making that up because I don't even remember that happening.
In middle school I had a friend named Tom. He lived two houses down from me. I met him when I was walking down the street with my friends and all of a sudden this guy ran out of a house wearing a cape and fangs and started screaming. That was Tom. He had no phone so he used to hang out at the pay phone at the pizza place on the corner. Whenever you needed to get ahold of him, you'd call the payphone. Or if he didn't answer, you'd go to his house and throw rocks at his window until he stuck his head out of it. Or you just walked in and waited for him while eating his food. He had an uncle who had a lot of prostitues come to his house and there were condoms all over the floor of his room. So I heard. I never looked in.

In other news, it's fuckin hot in here. my poor rats look like they're dead and tiny fan I have on them isn't helping much. I think I'm going to try to use the air conditioning in my car on the way to school, even though it wastes gas and I was told when I got the car not to use it because it'll make the car overheat. but i'm pretty sure the car is dying anyway. the power steering is fucked, it doesn't like to accelerate when I tell it to, and the car swerves when I break.
alas.
I think I'm gonna go jump in my filthy dog-fur infested pool.

regrets, I've had a few............. but then again, too few to mention

2003-06-23T20:54:08Z

Hey, remember highschool?
Remember how certain people were way ass-ier to you than necessary?
Ever wonder, if you ran into them today, if they would still be the same assholes?
I'm here to tell you they would.

I truly believe that people are nothing more machines - everything you think, everything you do, is a result of chemical reactions. Certain chemical reactions occur because that is how you are programmed. I swear that wasn't inspired by Vonnegut, I didn't read that book until last week an I know I've posted about this before. That sounds kind of sad, but think it's quite comforting sometimes. Anyhow - it would mean people are inherently selfish. Don't ask me why, it just does, and it's not like I'm the first person to suggest it anyway.

But.... pretend you are a bird. And there is a certain kind of insect that looks incredibly tasty, so you swoop down and swallow it whole. But that insect is poisonous, and you can't move for three days. You manage to survive, but for the rest of your live, you avoid eating that type of bug, out of fear of harm being inflicted upon you.
Ok - all the other insects - what's to stop you from eating them?
Nothing. They don't hurt you, so you have no qualms about eating them.
Maybe the bugs will develop really good camoflauge, or something, but it's all the same to you.

People can change things about themselves - they change their actions if the actions result in harm to them, or they do what I've done and change what they care about.
It's a good thing I did, too.
And I guess that's my point.

does this make sense to anyone?
I swear to god I am not trying to be cryptic, I am just not good at explaining things.
and I never was a good writer.

redrae @ 2003-06-23T03:06:00

2003-06-23T07:05:15Z

I've decided to write a book - I mean, lots of people say that, but this is a bit strange coming from me because not only am I quite awful at writing, but I hate doing it. I also hate reading. And have problems keeping interest in things for more than several minutes. But I promise you - I will write a book.

I just saw that I have 172 people on my friends list - that felt so weird, because...... it really doesn't seem like that many. I felt like such a livejournal whore, but after a quick (read: it took me 20 minutes) analysis, I came to the conclusion that is it actually 119 individual people that post on a regular basis. That makes me feel slightly better because it is a slightly more reasonable number.

11 of them are katie's aliases.
2 are me.
14 are communities.
13 are aliases of other people on my friends list (mostly abandoned, previously used journals)
1 is a syndicated website
9 are journals that appear to be completely abandoned
3 are deleted journals Not that I don't love all the people on my friends list and love having new friends (for real - I just commented asking someone if I could add them to my list three seconds ago because I thought the person's journal was really interesting, and I do that quite often), I just don't want people to look at my friends list and think I add people for the hell of it, or because I like seeing high numbers or want to seem popular or something.
that probably made no sense.
oh well.

I think I am going to the beach tuesday. that should be fun.

ps: bill has strep throat and is like, dying. if you love me, you'd love him too and post comments wishing him good luck on not dying.

pps: guys..........i forgot about my slugs for a few days and they all dried up to death. I suck.

redrae @ 2003-06-21T15:17:00

2003-06-21T19:16:45Z

yeah I get delerious late at night sometimes, despite the fact that I am not at all sleepy.
so there.
but I am still sad about my catfish. and fuck all of you for not giving me my well-deserved sympathy within 11 hours of me posting about it overnight on a friday/saturday while everyone is off celebrating graduations. you guys are horrible friends.

so this week's special livejournal person is:
yourmooseyfate!!!

for being the only person to comment in regards to my catfish.
for once turning orange/yellow from eating too many carrots.
for her love of the finding nemo movie and toys.
for going to the bizarro rutgers.
for having a cool name such as "priscilla"
for this post, which made me smile a great deal.

congratulations priscilla, I promise I will mail you the stuff I promised I'd mail you soon.

to everyone else: rearrange these letters to form a word and win a prize! SHAMROUPO

who thought people really got this emotional over catfish?

2003-06-21T07:49:29Z

In an effort to stop posting complete and utter tripe, I have decided that I will start posting only once a day.
AND, I was thinking about making it into a schedule, ie...

stupid things that happen that I find amusing get posted monday
pictures and babbling about random animals get posted tuesday (or if i have nothing to say on the subject that week, it will be the same as.......)
generic useless babbling on wednesday
things people might actually be interested in reading get posted on thursday
random useless thing I drew in paintshoppro day... that can be friday.
there will have to be a day devoted to people on my friends list as well. that will be saturday.
sunday will be a bonus generic babbling day.

obviously I think about stupid stuff too much.
but think about how fun that would be! for real.
how great would it be to wake up every saturday, knowing there's a chance that you could be that week's person who has an entire journal entry devoted to how great they are?
who wouldn't want to see a drawing of something stupid on their friends page every friday like clockwork?
though obviously I will never post on thursday.

sure it would be the most ridiclous use of what's supposed to be a personal journal ever, but it would bring joy into so many people's lives. however, feel free to comment if you think it is a totally stupid idea and i should just continue posting the same stupid crap.

and since I have no life, in celebration, here is the first useless thing I drew in paintshop pro day drawing:

this week's drawing is of these weird fucking things I bought stickers of. the top of the sheet says "maryoku yummy/the magic is always kind..."
obviously they are part of some kind of japanese freakshow. if you have any more information, let me know, because I am too lazy to do a google search.

don't worry, I'll probably forget about/get bored of this whole idea as soon as I go to sleep and stop being so delerious.

edit: breaking form already, but this is important (to me.....it will be ridiculous to everyone else).......one of the upside down catfish (either herbert of gilbert, I can't tell them apart) I posted pictures of the other day died either today or last night. I am so, so sad because I have had him for at least a year or two, and also, I don't know why he died....... now I am seriously worried that one of the new fish is diseased and all of my beloved fish are going to drop dead at any minute. if that happens I will seriously kill myself out of grief because I love them. everyone send the rae catfish family good vibes. :(

i think he's the lighter one.
I really can't remember how long I had him, but the picture is dated feb 15 2002, so it was a while.
he is now with slowfuck, who is also pictured, and who has also passed on.
r.i.p
:(

redrae @ 2003-06-20T02:52:00

2003-06-20T06:51:42Z

oh yes!!!!!!

bill, who hates tattoos, said my new tattoo was "kinda cool". that is the best thing ever.

and before I told him what I was getting (which I didn't do until I had already gotten it done and went to his house and showed him), and had just given the hint that it wouldn't take that long, he said it would be really funny if I was getting a single blue dot and saying it was Earth from really far away.
when I get the mitosis tattoo, I'm SO going to ask them to give me a single blue dot in a random place. even though I don't think it would last. it would be funny.

I'll stop talking about tattoos now.

also... thanks lots and lots to aargnzarf for the really cute icon.

redrae @ 2003-06-20T00:50:00

2003-06-20T04:49:28Z

so yeah, all tattooed up.
it turned out very nicely...... I am proud of dustin. I only gave him money for materials + $10 because I am poor......and it was all in ones ($25).........but he'll get over it.
it is only the outline of what I wanted cos I don't know how I want it filled in.
what is it of, you ask?
you'll never know.
or......I'll take a picture of it when it heals and post it.
with a friends group.
yeah....being secretive.

sorry I have nothing to say lately......

redrae @ 2003-06-19T15:02:00

2003-06-19T19:01:41Z

I just realized I should be off graduating from highschool right now...........

tattoo at 8:00. I'm letting dustin do it. be afraid.
but not too afraid, because really, there's no way he can possibly fuck this up unless he slips and draws a line like 3 inches outside of the design or something.

redrae @ 2003-06-19T14:19:00

2003-06-19T18:18:15Z

wisdom from some lady in bill's class:

"what is the farthest star from earth?"
"the moon!"

"what is the largest mountain range in the world?"
"the grand canyon!"

I would like to state for the record, I did everything that I could do

2003-06-19T06:14:10Z

i forgot............not pictured in the last post:
jimmy jazz, janie jones & tonic. they hide too well.

yeah........I'm going to get a different tattoo before the mitosis one. i've actually been kicking the idea around in my head for years.......... however, nobody is going to know what it will be until I get it. and I don't know if I will even show anyone once I get it. I don't feel like listening to people tell me what a stupid idea it is. actually, I will tell one person if he ever stops being AFK.
so why am I telling everyone now?
I feel like it.

yeah........I was gonna say some other shit but I stopped caring.

redrae @ 2003-06-18T21:46:00

2003-06-19T02:47:29Z

I must note that catfish are nocturnal animals, and thus they hide for the majority of daylight hours............ and are therefore hard to photograph. But, I didn't want to leave anybody out, so some of these you will REALLY REALLY have to use your imagination on.

charles

from left to right: either herbert or gilbert (blending in with a plant), squeaky, lui with a cute fat belly (they'd just eaten)

left to right: charles' tail, henry, lui with I think filbert hovering about his head.

squeaky's belly, filbert hiding behind a suction cup, and lui with herbert & gilbert

henry.....kinda

one of the new midnight catfish/zamora woodcats

another one

squeaky...kinda

upside down cats

more upside down cats

if you look real hard.........you'll see sunny

again.......look real hard.......and you may be able to make out apu.

as an added bonus........
slugs!

thank you and goodnight

redrae @ 2003-06-17T21:35:00

2003-06-18T01:34:09Z

I bought the catfish I said I wanted!
three zamora woodcats/midnight catfish.... they are so pretty.
I can't find a decent looking picture online, so I drew my own:

~~I can't think of names for them. Feel free to give suggestions.... the three names have to have a common theme.~~ I named them after random stars because they look like the sky on a clear night (how dreamy). I tried to pick the least retarded sounding ones, and for the record, these are the first fish I even slightly consider to be female.

lui, jimmy and janie - lace catfish (lui is at least three and a half years old)
filbert, herbert and gilbert - upside down catfish (filbert is also at least three and a half years old)
charles - pictus catfish
henry - four-line pim (henry is my biggest catfish at about 5")
tonic - asian upside down catfish
sunny - sun catfish (who is growing REALLY FAST and i love it)
apu - dwarf striped catfish (apu is my smallest catfish at about 1")
squeaky - striped raphael
mira, kait, electra - midnight catfish

In addition to that, I am quite happy and excited about school and catfish.

To the people who "interviewed" me, I will fill those out tonight.

63

2003-06-17T05:42:00Z

with my birthday a mere 63 days away, I figure I should prepare a list of things people can buy me, in order of how badly i want the thing.

a trio of these catfish
a gift certificate to bill's wonderland of pets
cigarettes (maybe. I haven't decided quite yet if I want to quit or not.)
anything that involves: catfish, bats, squid, snails, rats, jellyfish, praying mantii, or similar creatures
stickers
apple snails
old issues of national geographic
$250 for my tattoo
a paid account

That's all I can think of for now. trust me, I will be updating this, so you you want to buy the best portion of my love that is currently available, I suggest you bookmark this post.

........I know nobody will get me anything. but I like to pretend

ps.......... happy birthday to the people who have birthdays in the next 10 days: sextron (22nd), blakwolf22 (23rd), sunkissmyface (26th) and alnie (27th)

redrae @ 2003-06-14T21:52:00

2003-06-15T01:50:56Z

Summer CA is halfway cleared.
Bill's boss cleared it.
Waiting for his parent's decision.
So scary.
My dad sent me $100 for getting good grades. My mom made fun of me for sucking up to people, cos last week her boyfriend gave me $100 to buy furniture.
It's not like I ask for money. I just accept it when it is given to me.
I feel bad though, cos I'm totally not a good daughter and don't deserve it.
Ah well.

total cost of hotel + plane:
about $800
total I have saved:
about 1,050
sweet.

if Bill's parents say no for the summer, they're going to say no for winter too, so if he can't go I'll just go by myself.
first vacation ever.
so exciting.
i'm thinking about taking a trip to DC in exactly one week.
I just need like $20 for gas.
ok, probably more.
we'll see.

the addresses of the two hotels I am looking at:
45 Mcallister St
and
1101 Van Ness Ave

both in san francisco.
by "nob hill"
that sounds totally ghetto, but I don't care.

I set the turtle free. I didn't know turtle shells could bleed.

redrae @ 2003-06-14T18:38:00

2003-06-14T22:37:14Z

dude!
I just found a box turtle in my yard!
what the hell was it doing in my yard, other than getting eaten by my dog, judging by the chips in its shell?
there's no lakes or anything around here.
I'm going to keep him.

edit: ok, I'm totally not responsible enough to take care of a turtle. I'm going to try to find somewhere to let him go.

passengers will refrain from killing my soul

2003-06-14T09:14:18Z

you know,
i really wish i could find someone who would sell me percocet or somesuch other similar drug.
but no...................of course not.
that makes me super sad as well.

another thought

2003-06-14T09:08:28Z

mourning doves,

I hear them almost every day of my life,
but I have never, ever seen one.
did I already post this?
probably.
but now it is picture enhanced.