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go back in time!

July 19th, 2003  @  3:36am
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the last time i'm doing this...............seriously.



raefromjersey
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July 5th, 2003  @  3:09pm
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if you have added raefromjersey, feel free to remove this journal because all i'm going to be posting on this is telling people to add raefromjersey because 42 of you haven't. jerks.
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June 30th, 2003  @  2:53am
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................................raefromjersey
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June 29th, 2003  @  1:23am
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guys................check your friends lists.
this one is gone. I added everyone with the new one. please please please add me back. I know not everyone will and it makes me really sad.
if I didn't add you, you must have gotten lost in the masses, because I didn't intentionally leave anyone out. so leave a comment.
add me :(
I'm going to post this once a week until everyone adds me. so do it.
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June 28th, 2003  @  3:19am
music emoticon  =  amused
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Girls.
Do you automatically hate your boyfriend's ex girlfriends, for no reason other than because they are ex's?
Don't act like you're a good person and try to tell me you don't. I know you do.
Admit it. Deep down, you hate them.
It doesn't matter what reasons you have.
"oh, she treated him bad."
"oh, she used to cheat on him."
"oh, she had a really bad dye job."
for real.........
what is up with that?

like, I completely hate Bill's ex girlfriend. I've never talked to her, never will, and basically know nothing about her. But I still hate her. The best reasons I've been able to come up with are:
  1. he had sex with her and thus he wasn't a virgin when i got him. everyone wants a virgin. (see below)
  2. I started talking to him right when they were breaking up, and she asked him who I was and why he was talking to me, and it annoyed me.
  3. she's really huge and scary.
  4. her name is Val, and from now on, whenever I hear the name Val I will think of her, instead of my godfather Val or the OoT moderator Val.
  5. he met her online and i think we all know how i feel about online relationships. by "all" I mean "erin" and "jackie, who doesn't read this".
  6. she's from chicago and now everytime i hear something about chicago I will think of her instead of my friend Josh or Billy Corgan
So I have a total of six reasons for hating someone I've never met, but none of them make any sense.
It's got to be a girl thing.

Note, however, that I'd probably like her if I ever talked to her. It's just one of those things.

I love Josh. Josh is a boy I've known for seven years (I am way too young to be thinking in terms of things that happened seven years ago) and who used to be really cool but now he's a hippie. Like, he actually follows around the greatful dead (i didn't even know they still existed). fucking hippies.
I was trying to explain the concept of everyone wanting a virgin (me and lauren have this theory. actually, the theory is "everyone wants a virgin") and josh had this to say..... josh rulesCollapse )
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June 27th, 2003  @  3:25am
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IF ANYONE STILL HAS ANY POGS

please mail them to:
rae
14 west taunton road
tansboro nj
08009

my birthday is in 54 days or something.
and i want to start a collection.

real post later.
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in my memories forever, you'll be there until I die

June 26th, 2003  @  2:45am
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I can't stand girls who act stupider than they really are. Really. You act stupid and I play the game and treat you like you're stupid and it's perfectly fine if you want people to think you are some dumb blonde bimbo, but seriously, it's insulting to my intelligence too.

So I talked to the girl I couldn't decide whether or not I should send a letter to tonight - it was nice. I mean, it's not like we're suddenly going to become best friends or anything, but it's nice to sort things out like that, you know? It feels good.

In other news, I had two of the weirdest dreams ever - the first one involved Bill's ex girlfriend Val. I've never talked to her. Or met her. Because she lives in Chicago.
But my friend Josh, who is also from Chicago, was in the dream, so I guess my brain decided to dream about Josh and then said "hey, let's throw in random peole who we know are from Chicago to make the dream more fun", because Josh's little brother Ben was in it, and I've talked to him like 10 or 15 times in the 7 years I've known Josh. Oh, and Val was Ben's girlfriend or something. Even though I think Ben is like 16.
Yeah, nobody cares. But it was odd.

I also had this other dream involving me in a lake but I could like.....pull the water like it was curtains and I woke up all scared because I am terrified of lakes and stuff and I was about to get sucked into it.

yeah, I really need to start listening to crappy music when I am sad because when you listen to good music it ruins it for you in the future. Like, I can't listen to the buzzcocks because I used to listen to them all the time when I was sad. But I listened to a bunch of sad pining love songs and smiled because I totally couldn't relate and forgot how I ever could. That felt good too.

I wanted to say a lot more but I forget what it all was. I guess it wasn't that important.
So instead, here is tomorrow's random thing I drew in paintshop pro day drawing, one day early: a platypus that looked much better before i resized it.



I have a bunch of comments to reply to so I shall go get started on that.
Sorry this post is lame as always.

(heart i forget the code for) / rae
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June 25th, 2003  @  4:05am
music emoticon  =  sleepy
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Um..........guys. I kind of hate my new tattoo. I should have considered it for more than 16 hours before getting it done. But I don't care all that much......................I don't take these things as seriously as I probably should. It's just annoying.
I have a feeling I only hate it because it's new and I hate all things that are new. I'll get over it.
But to make it even worse, I couldnt sleep so I decided to take my 5th shower of the day and I forgot it was there and I wiped it with the washrag and all the little scabby pieces came off and it looks slightly messed up. noww horrible, but, there's a couple tiny little pinpricks of ink missing. which isnt that noticable because the lines are so thin.
And combined with the crappy picture, you probably all think it looks completely horrible now, but it's really not bad at all.
i promise.
but I still don't like it.

yeah......that's it.

edit: if any of you guys are on friendster, you should add me. or something. redrae@addr.com

editx2: I forgot that when I first got the rattoo, I didn't like her much either. (link, link) now I love her as much as my catfish. and let's not forget the disastor with the one on my wrist. (link). I still don't like it but I don't *hate* it. I've never gotten that one fixed, but I plan on it eventually. and the guy who did it still works there. I hate him.
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rae's nostalgia fest

June 24th, 2003  @  4:01pm
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things people have reminded me of recently:
  • once upon I time, I had AOL and a profile that actually had factual information in it. one day this kid IMed me because he lived in the same town as I. he asked me where in particular I lived, I gave him a vague description, and he gave me a detailed description of where he lived. but......his description was basically describing exactly where I lived. "hm," I thought, "that's odd." so I told him to wait a few seconds and then flash the lights of his basement on and off repeatedly. I ran to the livingroom and looked out the window, at the house next door...........and the basement lights were flashing on and off.
  • once upon a time, bill and jay attacked me/my room/my house with silly string. Three years later, I still find pieces of silly string laying around, even though I don't even live in the same house anymore. bill claims I ruined his everclear shirt by attacking him with silly string at his house, but I am convinced he is making that up because I don't even remember that happening.
  • In middle school I had a friend named Tom. He lived two houses down from me. I met him when I was walking down the street with my friends and all of a sudden this guy ran out of a house wearing a cape and fangs and started screaming. That was Tom. He had no phone so he used to hang out at the pay phone at the pizza place on the corner. Whenever you needed to get ahold of him, you'd call the payphone. Or if he didn't answer, you'd go to his house and throw rocks at his window until he stuck his head out of it. Or you just walked in and waited for him while eating his food. He had an uncle who had a lot of prostitues come to his house and there were condoms all over the floor of his room. So I heard. I never looked in.



In other news, it's fuckin hot in here. my poor rats look like they're dead and tiny fan I have on them isn't helping much. I think I'm going to try to use the air conditioning in my car on the way to school, even though it wastes gas and I was told when I got the car not to use it because it'll make the car overheat. but i'm pretty sure the car is dying anyway. the power steering is fucked, it doesn't like to accelerate when I tell it to, and the car swerves when I break.
alas.
I think I'm gonna go jump in my filthy dog-fur infested pool.
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regrets, I've had a few............. but then again, too few to mention

June 23rd, 2003  @  4:55pm
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Hey, remember highschool?
Remember how certain people were way ass-ier to you than necessary?
Ever wonder, if you ran into them today, if they would still be the same assholes?
I'm here to tell you they would.

I truly believe that people are nothing more machines - everything you think, everything you do, is a result of chemical reactions. Certain chemical reactions occur because that is how you are programmed. I swear that wasn't inspired by Vonnegut, I didn't read that book until last week an I know I've posted about this before. That sounds kind of sad, but think it's quite comforting sometimes. Anyhow - it would mean people are inherently selfish. Don't ask me why, it just does, and it's not like I'm the first person to suggest it anyway.

But.... pretend you are a bird. And there is a certain kind of insect that looks incredibly tasty, so you swoop down and swallow it whole. But that insect is poisonous, and you can't move for three days. You manage to survive, but for the rest of your live, you avoid eating that type of bug, out of fear of harm being inflicted upon you.
Ok - all the other insects - what's to stop you from eating them?
Nothing. They don't hurt you, so you have no qualms about eating them.
Maybe the bugs will develop really good camoflauge, or something, but it's all the same to you.

People can change things about themselves - they change their actions if the actions result in harm to them, or they do what I've done and change what they care about.
It's a good thing I did, too.
And I guess that's my point.

does this make sense to anyone?
I swear to god I am not trying to be cryptic, I am just not good at explaining things.
and I never was a good writer.
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